One Month Old

One month ago we became a family! I can't believe that it was just that long ago that Brad and I were sitting in the delivery room waiting for little baby to arrive. No longer me and him, but baby too! We are so blessed to have her, she is healthy and beautiful.

This has been a tough month though, learning how to take care of our baby. I have been so lucky to have Brad here with me and my mom for two weeks, I don't know how people do it alone. But it gets hard when you are sleep deprived and have an impatient baby.

Yes, though she is sweet and lovable, Lily has a bit of a temper! She wants to eat two seconds ago and when she is sleepy she fights it! Sometimes I don't understand! She always gets fed and if she is tired, why doesn't she just sleep? Instead she will cry and cry until she gets her way. It can get very frustrating. But it has definitely taught me patience!

I have also seen Lily grow a lot in the last two weeks! Not just physically, but she plays more, she is starting to make more noises and sometimes I catch a smile. Though she looks mostly like Brad, I think she has my dimples! I think the impatience and temper, however, came from me - God help us! Haha!

But it is all worth it when I look at this beautiful baby that we created.

One Week Old

One week ago today, our little baby came into the world! She is a beautiful, healthy little girl and we feel so blessed to have her. It has been a very interesting week! Learning how to take of her, feed her and trying to get some sleep have all been a challenge. But it is all worth it to have this little baby in our lives.

We took Lily in today for a check-up appointment to make sure she had gained some weight. Thankfully, she had. Not a lot, but she is definitely making progress and eating more. She is such a pretty girl, although all her looks come from her daddy. Luckily, he is pretty good looking too! Haha! She has long legs and arms, she will definitely be a good basketball player or runner!

I am anxious to see her grow and find out if she got anything from me. I think that is one of the most interesting things about children, what they get from their parents. Physically and their personality. She was smiling the other day and I hope she remains a happy little person.

Besides lack of sleep, Brad and I have been doing pretty well. But I feel like I worry like a crazy person at times. I just want to do everything we can to keep this little one healthy and safe. I'm glad Brad evens me out as the more calm parent! I know things are going to happen and I pray that we will be able to handle whatever comes our way. I got some good advice the other day about worrying, just relax and enjoy!

Frustrated

So Lily had her two day check at the doctor's office today. We had a couple concerns because she hadn't had a bowel movement since we left the hospital. When we had her weighed she had lost 15% of her body weight which concerned the pediatrician. She suggested we go see the lactation consultant.

Now, don't get me wrong, most of the staff at the hospital has been very helpful and I am a new mother and still learning. But my milk came in early this morning and Lily had been feeding a lot better and for longer periods of time. The consultant told us not to be too concerned since she is very alert, has a good strong cry and moves around a lot. She was confident that she would put on the weight. However, she put me on a schedule to feed Lily every two hours, even if I had to wake her up to feed her.

When we got home Lily was ready to eat. She had two great feedings and then dozed off for awhile. Wanting to follow directions, when the two hour mark hit, I woke her up to feed her. She was not really that hungry. But I kept trying because that's what the consultant said to do. She fed for about five minutes and was ready to sleep again. I was worried but let her sleep. Two hours later, I tried again. Nope not ready.

Now I am so frustrated. Before, I just waited until she was ready to eat, making her "I'm hungry" noises and crying. That seemed to work just fine. Why should I force her to feed? Why should I wake her up when I know she will let me know what she wants? Now I am fearful that she won't get enough to eat, I have thrown her schedule off whack and when we go back in on Monday, they are going to wonder why I didn't force 20 minutes on each breast every two hours.

I want to do what's best for Lily, I want her to grow and be healthy. She has passed everything else with flying colors. I will see how the weekend goes, and I hope she eats more. But who should you listen to? The three different people who told me how to feed or my own gut?

More pictures!

Pictures!

First Day Home

Yesterday, after two days in the hospital, we were able to bring Lily home. Although it was nice to push a nurse's button every time we had a question or needed help with something and all our meals were ready made, we were happy to come home to something familiar and comfortable.

Our first greeter when we got home was our cat Maverick. She totally ignored the little being in the car seat we brought in and demanded attention. She never knew anyone else was here until she heard Lily's squeaky little cry. Then, her ears were up, her eyes were wide and her expression seemed to say "What the hell is that?"

She immediately ran up to look over the bassinet and see what was making the noise. Yep, there's a new baby in the house! You will not be getting all the attention anymore little kitty! After a bout of crying she seemed to be less interested in this new being, but still remains curious.

The day went pretty well as we all adjusted to this new life. Getting used to feedings, diaper changes and learning her cries. Everything was going great, and though we were both pretty tired, we felt optimistic about the night to follow.

Wow, what a night. We quickly learned that all of us sleeping at the same time was not going to happen. We also learned that Lily did not care that it was night time and seemed to keep us up more with crying and requests than during the day. At times it got rough, she would just cry and cry and cry. But we both talked it out and understood that we just have to rough through it. She is a little baby and she is going to cry and get mad and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. So we got through the night without losing our heads. I felt even more exhausted with breast-feeding even though she is getting better and better. But every time it was my turn to take a shift, I was scared, and still am, of that endless crying.

But like I said, Brad and I both realize that we are going to have to work together on this and be optimistic and just give Lily all the love that we can. No matter how much sleep we don't get or how aggravating the situation can be.

I know, I might sound too optimistic, this is only day two and we have a long way to go. But it is all worth it! She is so beautiful and so fun to interact with. I am so happy to be a mother and I know Brad is loving being a dad. Please keep us in your prayers that we can continue on this journey with our heads high raising a lovely Lily.

The Day

For the last week I've been waiting for that phone call from Jenny. The one telling me that she is going into labor and that I need to come get her as soon as possible. It hasn't happened yet but its supposed to happen today. We'll see. We hope she comes today or tomorrow, we are at that point now where we are getting impatient. She needs to hurry up and do what she's supposed to do so we can bring her home and start taking care of her. But its not up to us and if she wants to stay in the oven and bake a little longer than we are going to have to live with that.

To me it still doesn't feel like I'm going to be a father. I guess it probably won't until we go to the hospital and then it'll start getting real. But it will happen soon and I am ready for it and nervous (probably not as nervous as Jenny) and I'm still waiting for that call.

1 day

I can't believe that tomorrow could be the day our little baby comes into the world! It has been quite a journey and I think Brad and I are both ready to meet her.

I have to say, I have been very lucky to have had such an easy-going pregnancy. I can only hope that the delivery will be the same. I also feel very blessed that we have such good family and friends that love and care about us and the little being who is not yet even here.

Today, I feel a huge wave of emotions. Excited, the day is almost here! Nervous, this is gonna hurt and be tough! Scared, soon we will have a little baby to take care of and raise! But I know we are ready and we can handle whatever comes our way. I pray it in my heart every night.

I really hope tomorrow is the day, but I know little baby will get here when she is ready. And we will welcome her with loving arms.

4 days

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! I can't wait to be one myself. I was cramping early this morning and I got so excited! Weird, I know, but it's only because having little baby on Mother's Day would be the best gift ever! But honestly, I think she is going to wait. She likes to follow directions and if they say May 12, I think she will wait.

Oh well, as long as she's not late. The day is getting so close, I can't believe it's almost here! It's hard to imagine that soon there will be three of us here instead of just Brad and I. It's kind of scary and exciting at the same time.

Yesterday, Brad and I were trying to plant some flowers and I can no longer bend down to dig in the dirt. I need help getting off the couch, putting lotion on my feet and putting my socks on. Thank God for slip on shoes! The girth of my little one is certainly taking a toll! It's kind of aggravating because there are a lot of things I want to do but I can't move around that well. I know you will be here soon little one, but I am so ready for you to be here now! Break water, break!

Daddy Basics

The time is drawing near, we will be parents soon and our whole world is going to change. We have been going to many classes, reading books, and preparing for the arrival of Lillian. Sometimes we feel like we are as prepared as we can be and other times we feel like we have no idea what we are getting in to. I guess both are probably true, but if we are completely unprepared, it’s not for lack of trying.

Last night I attended a Daddy Basics course held at the local hospital here in Manhattan. Jenny learned about it from one of her friends at work and thought it would be good if I went since most of the classes and things we went to on Fort Riley really just focus on birthing and things that deal with Jenny more than me. So I went and ate the free pizza and drank the free soda and listened to what this guy had to say.

The class was taught by a guy that has three kids of his own so he basically just let us know what to expect with a newborn. It’s not that I feel like I know everything there is to know about being a new father because I don’t. It’s just that with all that I’ve read and heard at other classes I was listening to more of the same. There were some good pieces of advice about giving her a bath or giving an infant massage but for the most part it was a bunch of information that I’ve heard before.

I really just spent the class wondering about what kind of father I want to be. I’ve never been very good with kids. Other people’s kids do not interest me so for the most part I don’t care to interact with them but I feel it will be different with ours because she will be ours, mine and hers. So I’ve pretty much determined that I will be a good father to Lillian because I care enough to worry about it. I’m ready for her to be here and to start being a dad. I think I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, I can only take so many classes before they start repeating themselves.

9 days

So I went to the doctor today and she said everything is going well and on schedule. Lily turned around like she was supposed to and I am dilated to almost two centimeters. Things are definately moving along.

I feel like such a bum at home. When I get off of work all I want to do is get into some comfy clothes and lay on the couch. Brad has been excellant on cooking dinner and helping me out with everything.

All I can think about is, when will she be here, when will she be here! That doesn't help me concentrate at work or at home and everytime I cross a "to do" off the list, something else pops up. Ahhh!

But it will all be worth it soon!

11 days

It is the first day of May and this is going to be quite an exciting month for us. We are awaiting the arrival of our first baby who is due on May 12. I don't know if she'll be early or late, but I know that it won't be too much longer.

Every day that passes I wonder, is my water going to break today? Do we have everything ready? Can I get through this? Are we going to be good parents? How will we know what to do?

But we have read information, gone to classes and have a great group of family and friends that give us advice and support, so I know we will be fine.

I have an appointment on Tuesday and hopefully my midwife will check to see how she is positioned and if I am dilated at all. Last week, she was laying against my back and I have had to do exercises to try and get her to turn around. But I am confidant she will, she loves to move around!

Well, we will see how the day goes and if she decides to keep cooking or make her entrance into the world!